Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
