Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
