So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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