I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
