Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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