Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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