actually, I'm a sock model
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize