dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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