I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
