I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
