he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
