I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize