I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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