never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
