Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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