why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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