Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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