I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
