I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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