Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize