I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize