the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
