Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
