My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
