She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
