Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize