Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
