I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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