Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize