the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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