you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
