Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize