apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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