all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
