WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
