i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
