Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
