Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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