This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
