he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We're too hungover to prance.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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