can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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