hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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