have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
