dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
