she woke up with a sticky ear
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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