Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize