Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
