Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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