Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
