I just pynch a tree in the face
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
