Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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