Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
