I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
