I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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