got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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