That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
