I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
