you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize