Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
