I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
