Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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