Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
