I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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