so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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