im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
