Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
