And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
