Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
