I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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